I apologize if anyone has come here for legitimate resources or help on what to do for a Whole 30. Sorry, I'm here to do what the kids call "keeping it real."
Day two and I already couldn't stay off the scale. Apparently the Whole 30 gods say it's a huge no no to weigh yourself because it isn't about weightloss, the cleanse is to detoxify your body from the massive shitstorm of crap you've eaten all of your life. You are probably thinking, "Jesus Christ, this person can't even go a day without weighing themselves. How the fuck are they going to not going to hit up Hyvee for a delicious pistachio muffin?!"
Just you wait my friends, I have 28 more days of this roller coaster and you are going to ride this double looped monster with me.
I think most of us have struggled with not eating terribly. Unless maybe you are one of those kids who lives in the woods in that Woody Harrilson movie. Apparently they live off the land and refer to soda as poison water. We can't all have weed smoking hippie, Woody to guide us through how to forage. Wait, did you just watch that movie while shoveling a bucket full of salt and buttery filled popcorn down your gullet? So meta.
Also, it's only day two and I am getting real descriptive with the foods here. Region it in!
Okay, so today I woke up feeling pretty good. Hence the weighing myself. Yes, I am down a few pounds. Go me! I hear that eventually stops being a thing.
I went into work and even with the evil temptations of mini candy bars, salted peanuts, and cheddar crackers I was able to hold it together. I actually spent most of my time in the service area, hiding from those items and ignoring their existence.
I ate my lunch at work and after work I did a twenty mile bike ride with my cycling club. I actually felt pretty good on the ride. I felt like I could keep at the front of the pack even though I was on my heavy commuter bike. I also felt like I could breathe better, but maybe that's because the pollen count isn't as high due to the rains. Either way, I was enjoying it.
I skipped out on dinner out with the club because I am so early into this. I also didn't want to be that asshole who has to change a dish on the menu so much that the server shoots me dead with dagger eyes. I simply picked up a couple of small coconut waters and used them as my electrolyte replacements.
One aspect I didn't consider going into this is that my usual on ride hydration/replenishes are not allowed. They aren't "approved" due to the sweeteners in them.
When I got home I did feel especially out of juice. Probably because I am used to carbing up before rides. Usually on Tuesdays I hit up a local favorite restaurant of mine and get an Asian chicken and rice dish with some tasty, saucy veggies as a side.
I came home and wanted to eat pretty much everything in site, but I didn't. I ate until I felt just full enough to not be a hangry asshole. As I am writing this I do kind of wish I could have even just a small bit of rice or bread to give me that more satisfied full feeling.
I fully plan on eating potatoes tomorrow and I am pretty jazzed about it. I honestly never thought I would be that into eating potatoes. There's an inside joke, actual two inside jokes my friends and I have about potatoes. Both stemmed from very drunken nights in college. Only one occurred inside a KFC/Taco Bell, but I digress.
I'm tired and frankly sick of typing, so here is what I ate today:
Breakfast= Two egg omelet with wilted chard, two pieces of turkey bacon, a banana, and cold brew coffee.
Lunch=Turkey chili, kale salad with loads of veggies plus approved ranch dressing with vinegar, and a sparkling water
Dinner= Prosciutto egg cups-two, coconut water, banana, grapes, and a variety of approved snacks in a small bowl for portioning. The snacks included salted coconut chips, beef Jerkey, and pili nuts. I am seriously loving the pili nuts. They are like the macadamia nut's fattier, more delicious cousin. The ones we have are also spicy, so I am basically in heaven when I eat them. I must purchase a pallet of them...immediately!
#walnuts
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